Wow, I have just returned from what felt like the longest trip ever. Not literally the longest, but it just felt really really long. I mean I've been away for an entire month before, but for some reason this trip just felt longer than all the others. One reason could possibly be because I was accompanied by our Product Development Director, one Robert C Haney. This was Haney's first experience in China, and being a product development guy I couldn't understand why he's never been there, but after this trip we can both say that it would probably be better for all the people in China as well as ourselves that we should probably never go back again. Let me just give you a brief synopsis on some of the more notable events that happened in the land of a billion asians.
1. Flying sucks
5 hr flight to Seattle, 1 hr layover in Seattle.
12 hr flight to Taipei, 2 hr layover in Taipei
1.5 hr flight to Hong Kong, 2.5 hr layover in Hong Kong
1 hr flight to Xiamen, 2 hr drive to factory.
Grand Total Airport/Airplane/Car time 27 hrs.
End Result = 2 tired, smelly, angry people who have spend over an entire day only inches from each other.
2. Drinking is more fun when work is not involved.
1.5 Bottles of Johhny Black, between two people, numerous emails afterwards. Naked photo shoot for OR show ads.
Grand Total time spent naked between 2 heterosexual men, 2 hrs.
End Result = 2 hours too many for 2 heterosexual men to be spending together.
3. Two Scoops
New dance move I have acquired from China. (Please check out Haney's blog for video evidence of how sexy this move is)
End Result = The ability to pick up girls with this move = 0 The ability to anger your product development director = 100.
4. Airports really really suck
9 Hours delayed at Xiamen Airport with no updated status of when your flight will take off or why it is delayed. All other flights to your end destination are completely booked, the one flight that isn't takes off 30 minutes after your delayed flight takes off. Airport temperature is maintained at a steady 85 degrees F, warm enough to make you uncomfortable, not hot enough so you can sweat to keep cool.
End Result = You learn a lot about your travel partner and you find out that even the most miniscule of events can entertain you, such as a man dropping about $400 worth of alcohol on the terminal floor, or men in shirts and ties wearing shorts, black socks and loafers. You also learn about how much you really really hate people.
5. Man Spa
3 hours of Happy hour at the hotel bar. 2 drunken Americans. 1 completely lost hour. Realizing that you have changed into Auschwitz style apparel with numbered wristbands. Fear of being sold into the organ blackmarket. 2 hrs of the most relaxing massage ever. 2 hrs of Product Development Director trying to ask his masseuse to marry him and bear him children. 2 hrs in a hot tub naked with a group of naked men playing grabass with each other.
End Result = Simultaneously creating the most relaxing, yet stressful experience ever. Also realizing that KFC at 4 in the morning in Shenzhen will make you vomit in the morning, especially if you've been drinking excessively the night before.
That pretty much covers the trip in a nutshell. Or at least the most memorable events. Oh yeah, we also sourced 2 new factories on this trip so hopefully that means we can get better lead times and pricing. I also managed to purchase a pair of Doremon boxers, the magical cat that can pull an immense amount of awesomeness from his marsupial pouch.
Haney can probably fill in the rest of the trip details for you, but for now I need to go back to pricing goods.
-Andy (Brand Director)
